She’s here!

Hey everyone! It has been a while since my last post, but… life has been busy! Dustin and I welcomed our daughter Hayden Louise into the world on June 7th, 2 weeks early!! I’m sure every mom can agree with me that it is the most AMAZING experience, painful, and the hardest thing I have ever done… but at the end of it all, all you can focus on is the little human on your chest! You forget about everything you just went through.

We have obviously been tired, but it’s all a learning experience for us, and for her. One of the challenges I’m facing, which I don’t think is very uncommon… breast feeding. Which is SUCH a hot topic, and I’m sure there’s lots of mom’s who have or are going through the same thing as me, and can maybe offer some support or advice!

I don’t think my nipples were meant for breastfeeding! She latches, but won’t stay on… so in the hospital I was offered a pump to “top her up”. The last week I have tried to get her on and it’s just not happening! So I have continued to pump, and give her breast milk via the bottle. I tried a nipple shield as well, and with the amount of milk I have, she would just cough it up and choke. There is SO much stress that comes with breast feeding, and so many different opinions out there. I told myself before she was born I was going to go with the flow, whatever works for the both of us, and to NOT stress. For me, at a time like this (especially being cranky with no sleep lol) it’s the last thing my body needs – happy momma, happy baby!!

Now the other thing is I have an INSANE amount of milk… so we definitely aren’t short of that. Although Hayden obviously can’t keep up with it, so i’m becoming unsure what to do with it all, we have a lot in the fridge and freezer already! I think I was over pumping at first. So now I am doing it whenever she would eat, but there’s still so many questions, and i’ve read so many different things on the internet! “Pump until your breast is dry” or “pump only the amount your baby would eat”. SO MANY THINGS! But like I mentioned already, it’s a learning experience, so hopefully with some more research and advice, we will get it all figured out!

Any momma’s out there go through a similar situation?!

172 thoughts on “She’s here!

  1. SM says:

    I also suggest seeing a lactation consultant, or visit the local public health breastfeeding clinic for some support, either option is very knowledgeable and they’ll tailor the advice to your exact situation so you don’t need to sift through online 🙂
    My little guy had a tongue tie, once it was identified and corrected we were on the road to a better latch and better breastfeeding experience. It’s not easy, but you’re doing a great job!

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    • Melissa says:

      Pumping is only going to produce more milk. don’t pump I had THIS WITH MY DAUGHTER it goes away best person for advice is Dr.Jack Newman he’s the best. But honestly it’s fine totally okay to puke it up. She’ll get enough the body will eventually make just what the baby needs. Please from experience DONT PUMP. You can try one sided breastfeeding but it’s not always recommend. And only for a short amount of time.

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    • Brooke says:

      If you struggle producing much milk (how I was) pump until you’re dry!
      If you have an abundant supply (like my sister in law) do not pump until your dry, bc that’s just telling your body to produce more and more, causing her to be really uncomfortable! She only pumps and produces when baby needs it!

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    • Katelyn Charbonneau says:

      This sounds like me and my daughter at first. I had a really quick letdown is what my lactation consultant told me.
      Positioning was key for us, which having seen a consultant was a lifesaver. Laying down flat on the bed (can use pillow on head), with baby also laying down length ways. Basically feels like they are ontop of you. Face ontop of your breast pretty much. This seemed to help with the letdown and easier for her to latch. She never choked because it let her have control of the amount of milk. Ontop of the breast is key. I hope this is helpful:)

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  2. Sarah says:

    Firstly, I’m sorry it’s been a struggle so far – but you are doing amazing and any amount of time breastfeeding is a huge gift to Hayden. I’m currently 7 months postpartum and still excluvely breastfeeding. We struggled a lot! Painful PAINFUL latch for months. We saw half a dozen lactation consultants and no one could give me a straight answer as to why. I have also dealt with an oversupply and my first advice is stop pumping! Work on that latch and try to just put babe to breast as often as possible, especially for the first 6 weeks while your body and baby establish your supply. One thing that we also did was no bottles until 6 weeks – it’s hard but it’s the best way to establish that routine with babe. I also pumped in the beginning, thought I was so smart to have 60-100 oz in the freezer but then my breasts were exploding and my daughter was gagging, choking and coming on and off the breast constantly. One thing that may work for you, especially if you have a heavy let down – put her on and then after 20/30 seconds (or if you can feel your let down, wait for it) take her off and hand express into a cloth for a few moments to take off the pressure and then put her back on.

    If it’s something you really want – keep going! It was so hard for us for the first 4 months and now everthing is different. She is so efficient with nursing, she latches herself and no pain. But if you decide to stop, don’t feel bad! You have to do what’s right for you!

    Ps. Jack Newman nipple cream recipe – ask your pharmacist

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  3. Stacey Lahay says:

    I haven’t read the rest of the comments so I apologize if I am repeating anything but I had the same problem. My daughter would not latch, I ended up using the nipple shield but had the same problem with too much milk and she would end up getting too much all at once. I found feeding her leaning back helped, and also right before I fed her I would either pump for a few minutes or just express some beforehand and this helped a LOT. I honestly had given up at 6 weeks, I was tired, defeated, went out and bought formula. Woke up the next morning and decided to try one more time, and she latched….. and never needed the shield again. I still found that my milk came in too fast for her, but leaning back and expressing beforehand, especially before night feeds made a huge difference. All I can say is do what is right for you, I wish I would have done formula right from the start because I was so exhausted. Feeding took an hour, and she fed every two, so I would get an hour of sleep and be up again…. I should have let my husband do a formula bottle or a pumped bottle so I could sleep. DO NOT feel guilty for doing formula, or that it isn’t working… a happy mom = a happy baby. 🙂

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  4. Stacey Lahay says:

    and sorry, one more thing, I even tried the lactation consultants and none of it helped, which made it even worse to be honest because I felt like I was the problem, but DO NOT feel like that! It doesn’t work for everyone and that is 100% ok, as long as your babe is loved and fed, whatever way that may be, is completely ok!

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  5. SandyK says:

    HeyMama. Thanks for sharing! If your. Baby has wet diapers she is doing fine.
    I suggest connecting with LaLeche League if you have problems. With latch or powerful let down. As helpful as everyone seems you need support of an experienced mom. The hospital stays are so short now that the milk hasn’t even come in yet and every baby is different. All the best to you and Dustin with your little one!

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  6. amoilliet says:

    Congratulations!! Breastfeeding can be so difficult, especially when you’re doing everything possible and things still aren’t working. Sounds like the latch is the main issue… I had problems latching with my first born, and ended up watching a YouTube video on how to properly get my baby to latch ! It helped so much.. to see how the babies mouth is supposed to look and when to get her to “chomp” down. Find a video that helps you visualize. Easier than reading the how tos and being shown by nurses who end up
    just doing it for you. Good luck! You’ll figure it out, I’m sure you have lots of great support.

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  7. TTCooper says:

    Breastfeeding is the most challenging thing I’ve ever done but we made it and I consider it one of my biggest accomplishments. Hang in there. Def recommend a lac consultant coming to your house. And have babe evaluated for tongue tie- it’s a very common thing. This may be the cause of the poor latch. If she’s tongue tied and has it snipped, feeding should all fall into place. (Sorry if repeat advice, did not read previous comments.) Best wishes for you and babe.

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  8. Laura says:

    Mama of 4 here…

    Nothing could prepare us mamas for the challenge and surprise of breastfeeding. All of my babies came with unique latches and breastfeeding experiences. My first was my hardest, hands down! I may be repeating others, forgive me if I am.

    Lansinoh nipple cream, apply after each nurse. Has she been checked (by someone who knows what they’re looking for, not just a labor and delivery nurse) for a lip tie? There can be a literally night and day difference (seriously). I have friends who had their baby’s lip tie fixed and BINGO. Throw out the nipple shield, they’re bogus for most. Once she has latched on well does it still hurt? If she has a good latch it shouldn’t hurt (expected to still be moderately tender). My oldest would latch on and off, on and off, on and off. Scream, cry, it was awful. He was checked for a lip tie in the hospital and they said no. They were wrong! Had he been looked at by another person it could have been caught.

    Breastfeeding can be so so so so difficult, but, it’s SO worth it to get past the first few weeks/months. It’s overwhelming but take it feed by feed. Find a lactiion consultant. I wish you the best!

    Ps, you are not defective and neither is your baby. It’s a dance and you will find your groove ❤️❤️❤️

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  9. KG says:

    Bless bless your heart. First off, you are doing an amazing thing by opening up your breastfeeding story and seeking advice and encouragement from the public! Way to go, mama! I did the same and it helped me get through my breastfeeding issues. Also, you are pumping breast milk and not giving up yet – you are a rockstar in my eyes! I’m 6 weeks post partum and had a pretty traumatic breastfeeding and post partum depression story. But, here is the beautiful thing – my baby and I recovered fast thanks to efforts of not giving up! Breastfeeding is so good for the mom’s mental state and recovery – id encourage every mama to give it their level best! In our case, my baby had a very severe tongue tie, posterior tongue tie and lip tie. In the beginning I wasn’t pumping because my nipples hurt so bad from the poor latch – that he wasn’t getting enough milk. Our hospital caught the tongue tie, but they disclaimed that clipping it with scissors may not be enough. So, we went to a dentist who had a dental laser that performed further surgery to fix the latch. You may not have a tongue tie baby – but it is so so worth checking it out. I would highly, highly, highly recommend finding a lactation consultant that is trained in tongue ties/board certified to help discover if that’s the case for you. I also advise finding one that will come to your home. The last thing you need is to leave the house for regular lacataion visits. I mention the tongue tie only because a lot of hospital lactation consultants misdiagnose it as poor nipple construction. So, all of that said – I would highly recomend getting a LC to come to your house to help provide specialized care for you and your baby! I’ll close with this, I survived breastfeeding through poor milk supply then over milk supply, massive sleep deprivation that lead to being hospitalized for 5 days after he was born, mastitis, physical recovery from a 60 hour labor and induction and birthing an 8 lb 10 ozs baby! I’m a baby when it comes to pain and life stresses – if I made it I’m certain any strong mama can make it too!! I’ll be keeping you in your baby in my thoughts and prayers! Keep your head up my dear – you are doing so great already!

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  10. Shelley Wright says:

    As others recommended see a lactation consultant they can answer your questions and help with the baby latching. My daughter had similar issues complicated by lactose intolerance. After meeting with the lactation consultant we realized she was tongue thrusting (common in babies who sucked their thumbs in utero) we retrained her and kept her away from bottles and pacifiers and things got all sorted out. Good luck this journey you are on called motherhood has many challenges, but you have the right attitude, go with the flow… they grow so fast, this will be a blip in the timeline of your journey just do what feels right and trust your intincts!

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  11. AC says:

    I overpumped which lead to being engorged which led to mastitis! You do not want that it is soooo painful. I struggled the most with breastfeeding, I had so much milk it was insane and my son would choke. I saw a lactation consultant for help with latching but of course he latched just fine when I was there!! Our breastfeeding journey ended at 2 months. I felt so guilty & the public health nurse always made me feel bad about it when we went in for his vaccines 🙄. I did the best I could & once we started formula we were both so much happier. Do what works for you and your family. Also Congratulations!!

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  12. Meaghan says:

    Congratulations on your beautiful baby girl! Sorry to add another comment as I know how hard it is to read so many messages with a newborn!

    My son had a really hard time latching as well and it took 9 weeks to latch without a shield and after that he still clicked and chomped a bit while nursing. He also SCREAAAAMED in the car. We were suggested to try seeing a Cranial-sacral RMT as he had a lot of tension in his jaw. She did a very gentle massage on the outside and inside of his jaw. We noticed an immediate difference, he stopped crying in the car and stopped clicking his jaw while nursing.. I wish we’d done it sooner. (And it’s covered by benefits with an RMT)
    Their little heads go through so much with all the pushing and delivery, it’s very common for those muscles to be tight affecting their jaw and latch.

    I saw a few other ladies suggested seeing a lactation consultant which I highly recommend as well. I saw 7!! They’re amazing and can answer any/all questions!

    Breastfeeding is so so complicated and so not natural for every mom and babe. Good luck with your journey, you’re doing amazing and will find what works best for you and your baby!

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  13. Jessica says:

    Totally 100% normal mama! Keep offering Hayden your breast, honestly all nipples were meant to breastfeed. Breastfeeding is so extremely hard at the beginning. I have an almost 2 yr old now and just stopped nursing last week. The first two weeks though were brutal. My nipples were cracked and so sore I would cry every time he latched. If that’s a problem you’re experiencing I HIGHLY recommend the “all purpose nipple cream” you physician or midwife can prescribe it for you and it will literally change your life (it has ibuprofen in it and let me tell you it’s the best)

    As for issue with your latch have you consulted with a lactation consultant? They often make house calls and can really be helpful. They’ll observe you trying to latch your little one and help make adjustments and teach you proper placement.. I spoke to one on the phone and she just explained to me where my little ones nose should line up and all that so maybe that’s all you’d need.

    I also had A LOT of milk and my little guy would often choke they grow out of that quickly I promise and it’s really not much to worry about, theyre also learning.

    Hope this helps! I know it’s hard and I know everyone is probably saying keep with it but keep working at it it’s tricky at the beginning but it’s so worth it and much easier than bottles. It was so nice to be able to nurse wherever whenever and also use it to help soothe my little one.

    Jessica

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  14. Alex says:

    My baby is 8 months old and reading your story sounds all too familiar. Oversupply , pumping and not latching properly…. The best thing we did was saw a lactation consultant who referred us to an osteopath. I was sceptical at first but after our first visit all her latching issues instantly went away. I’m beyond grateful for our osteopath she has helped us in so many ways. Breastfeeding is literally the hardest thing in the world and there are professionals out there to help and support us moms. I should mention I live near Cranbrook, BC and we have two osteopaths in the area so I’m sure there would be one in Kelowna.
    You got this! You’re doing so much work to feed that little nugget and to make sure she’s healthy. I promise it gets easier ❤️

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  15. Delrae says:

    Breastfeeding was by far the hardest part of a new baby for me. My son had a tongue tie and couldn’t stay latched either-along with my nipple shape not being designed for nursing🙈
    I had to pump for a month before he latched and then we successfully breastfed from then on! Every feed we tried getting him to latch-I literally walked around the house top off for the first month(jiggly post c-section belly and all hanging out)
    We had his tongue tie snipped which was a 2 second procedure he didn’t even wake up for, I saw a lactation consultant and also went to le leche league meetings which helped tremendously!
    And at the end of the day, however it works out for you- A fed baby is a happy baby…which makes a happy mom;) good luck!

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  16. Jan says:

    Oh man , BF is so hard. At 7 weeks, I had a breakdown in isle 4 of the grocery store after panicking that something I was eating was making my little one gassy. I switched to formula that night and I never looked back. I dealt with the shitty latch and the stress I felt from it. I became resentful and neither baby nor I were happy ( even after going to the BF clinic for 5 weeks ). Do what works best for you. Sending you tons of positive thoughts

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  17. Jane Bradshaw says:

    Congratulations on baby Hayden! Such exiting times and exhausting times!
    Best advice I can give…as a once dietitian and mother ….relax, don’t over think things too much, your nipples are fine, DON’T PUMP!! at least until you have the sucking/ latching under control. The best thing you can do is find the best position for baby to latch…get her up high enough…well propped up so she doesn’t pull down on your nipple and bring her in straight on the nipple! Breast is best by far so hang in there…it gets really easy once you both click!
    And remember No Pumping! No nipple guard! No bottles! Too confusing for baby and your milk production in the beginning! Put your feet up pour a beer to help you relax and enjoy her! It does get easier!
    Oh and use a good nipple cream!

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  18. JENN says:

    As much as it’s nice to hear everyone’s opinion, you have to do what is best for YOU and for your little babe. Happy mommy = happy baby, whatever that means.

    I struggled with breastfeeding with my oldest, and it was such a stress and worry for me that I was so miserable for the first month of his life – which obviously is a huge regret. I said I wasn’t doing it with my 2nd and that if it worked it worked, and if it didn’t, it didn’t. I did what was best for us.

    ENJOY your time with Hayden because it goes quickly and when you look back a couple years from now, you literally will give ZERO eff’s whether you breastfed or not. Honestly.

    Congratulations 🙂

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  19. Ashley R says:

    Congrats!! I had the exact experience and attitude! I wasn’t able to latch but I pumped for 6.5 months!! (ps double pumping and cutting holes in sports bras to hold the flanges is the best so.comfy and hands free haha). I froze enough milk to last a few months longer than that! You do what keeps your sanity fed is best 😀

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  20. Mary says:

    Hi there!

    1. See a good lactation consultant. She can help with positioning and latch and also check for a tongue and/or lip tie, which can cause poor latching. A knowledgeable LC will check by having baby lay in your lap, head facing out. She’ll sit knee to knee with you, tilt babies head back and check under the tongue with both fingers. This is the only way to accurately check for a posterior tongue tie (my daughter had a nasty one). If she does have one, I recommend finding a knowledgeable pediatric dentist to laser it (you can Google tongue tie preferred providers to find a list of the very best in each state; we drove 2 hours to ours but it was worth it).

    2. Try breastfeeding reclined. Lay baby across your belly tummy to tummy. This gives her more control over a fast letdown.

    3. Slooooooow down muchacho on the pumping. Almost every mama has an oversupply and an insane amount of milk at the beginning. This is hard on baby, causes choking, difficulty feeding, gas and upset belly. Goal is to get your supply regulated to baby’s demand so if your goal is breastfeeding (which I highly recommend in lieu of pumping and bottle feeding because it’s a massive PAIN), try to put the bottles and pump away and get baby on the breast.

    4. You’ll see mixed reviews on the nipple shield on here but it was a lifesaver for us. If she’s choking, pull her off when you have a let down and squeeze the milk out of the shield into a burp cloth or something. Then put her back on.

    5. Good gosh give yourself so much grace. A happy, (relatively) rested mama, who is at peace will care for her baby the best. It’s impossible not to stress! But give yourself grace, lots of good meals and hot showers, and remind yourself what an AWESOME job you’re doing. I’ve fought like hell to give my baby breastmilk even though it does mean pumping through the day. It’s been worth it to me! But I wish I’d not given up on breastfeeding so soon (we started having probs around 2 months). But do what works for your family.

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  21. Annie says:

    It is SO HARD!!!! But so worth it.

    1. Lactation consultant. They are seriously angels on earth. Find one and make them your best friend.

    2. Keep trying to get her to latch. She will most likely get the hang of it!

    3. Be proud of yourself for ALL of the things you’re doing and have already done. No guilt. No shame. Just love that baby and all is well.

    Congrats. 🙂

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  22. Jana says:

    Congratulations on the birth of your beautiful baby Girl!!
    I do have some advice on breastfeeding. It’s tough, and it hurts in the beginning but it does take time. Your baby girl was born two weeks early, that’s actually significant when it comes to their digestive system and eating. They’re mouths and suction won’t be as strong or as coordinated yet. My son was born two weeks early as well and it took us a month to get things really going. He was my second and I thought it would be easier, but it wasn’t. They need time to develop the skill and being early and if your daughter was at all jaundice will make it very hard to get a latch going and the rhythm of it all. Don’t stress about it, that won’t help. I know it’s hard though, and you just want it to be ‘natural’ but it truly does take some time and some hurdles to jump over. It’s ok to pump and top them up, I did the same with my son, and after a few weeks we didn’t need to anymore. Spit up is also ok! It looks like a lot coming out but they really are getting food in. I wish you all the best on this beautifully journey. Motherhood is a beautifully exhausting, incredible experience.

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  23. Shauna says:

    Seeing a lactation consultant saved my breastfeeding relationship and my sanity. I didn’t expect she could help me more than the nurses did in the hospital but it was soooooooo worth it. It still took a lot of work afterward, but having that advice, understanding what my baby was communicating, getting a back up plan, and seeing what a good feed could look and feel like restored my hope and helped me persist. If breastfeeding is important to you I highly suggest you meet with a good LC. But don’t feel bad if you’re ready to go to formula and take the pressure off. A sane Mom and a fed baby are the best possible combo, whatever way that works out 🙂

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  24. Tionna says:

    Hi! So happy for you and your family! I also JUST had my baby May 25th! And I met your cousin Jillian when I was pregnant at the JPL, too funny! My due date was June 1st baby boy Sawyer came early! Anyways, I am having the exact same experience as you, breast feeding… not always easy apparently. I have SO much milk that is was drowning him everytime he would latch on. So I pump for only 3-6 minutes BEFORE I feed him on the boob. I find that this relieves some of the pressure and makes it easier for him to stay on the boob. It does not relieve all the pressure but just enough that I can keep him on in short intervals and still be breastfeeding when possible. I was worried about nipple confusion but I found a soother, and a bottle that have a similar nipple to mine and it seems to be working. I know everyone is going to say not to pump but I felt helpless when I couldn’t feed my babe, and I knew he was hungry. A FED baby is best, it doesn’t matter how you get there. Breast feeding , bottle feeedinf or formula, as long as baby is happy and healthy!
    Xo best of luck! I am on week 3 still struggling a bit but is gets better and better everyday, so hang tight!!
    Tionna

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  25. Chrystal says:

    I would also recommend seeing a lactation consultant!
    I produced tons of milk as well and my son would “chock” on it at times. Eventually, he kind of figured it out and he would let the excess run out of the side of his mouth. I would be soaked, but it worked! I would also quickly pump (if time allowed) or just hand express the excess rgut before he nursed to slow the flow a bit & that seemed to help a bit too.
    Good luck!

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  26. Lindsey says:

    Congratulations!! I would definitely suggest seeing a lactation consultant twice a week!!! It saved my life!! It was the hardest thing ever!

    Also, I would take her to a chiropractor, it helps with aligning their body from being all squished in there for so long. It made my son more comfortable and would help him relax while feeding. It also helped with his head movement, burping and head shape. I HIGHLY HIGHLY suggest the chiropractor!! Good luck!!

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  27. Alissa says:

    Firstly, so many congratulations!

    I, like so many of us before me, struggled to breastfeed. My son would take so long, he never felt satisfied. I was told it would settle down, but after 5 weeks it still wasn’t working. So I pumped from week 1 forward, and I did exactly as you were – I pumped and followed each bf session with a small bottle to top him up (he continued to loose weight after being home from the hospital) by 2 weeks we were 15grams shy of birth weight and things were getting better from that perspective but his feeding habits we’re still off. My milk supply responded to the increased pumping but around week 6, it dropped off. Substantially. I have no idea why but I’ve struggled to maintain ever since. I believe it’s a shift in the prolactin – Lactation is first a hormonal response post partum, then a supply and demand.
    Definitely get a LC, I wish I had, but sounds like a forceful letdown (my cousin had same problem, and she tried exclusively pumping for a while, but it’s a lot of work)
    I’d say don’t stop pumping if you can afford the time. You never know when you might need it – unknown dry spell, need for surgery -i Pumped and saved but had a hard time recovering supply after surgery.
    If you get to a 200 oz stash, take 150 in for donation. Your local NICU will be eternally grateful.
    Be grateful for the abundance, for those that struggle to produce.

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  28. Lauren says:

    Hello,

    Congratulations on the birth of your daughter.
    I can relate to exactly what you’re going through.
    Everyone says ‘baby’s don’t nipple feed, they breast feed’ but I think that is a load of crap! Haha!
    I believe my nipples have hindered my breastfeeding ability but I’ll give you a quick run down of my story.
    My daughter (6.5yrs now) had trouble latching and I got extreme nipple trauma. I had to pump and bottle feed to give my nipples a chance to heal and after that I had supply issues because I wasn’t pumping enough. I tried all sorts but in the end I pumped as much as I could and then switched to formula at 6 weeks. It was hands down the hardest thing I’ve ever been through and took me years to get over my ‘failure’ to breastfeed.
    My son who is now 15 months old latched a lot better but again, major nipple trauma and was told I had to pump and allow my nipples to heal as they were infected (eek). I was devastated but persevered with the pumping and trying to get him to latch here and there with a shield and then one day at about 6 weeks of age he latched on with the Shield and we are still feeding to this day – with a shield.
    When I was pumping I also had a bit of over-supply and was getting about 1 litre per day. Google to check but I’m pretty sure breastfed babies need between 600-840ml per day.
    You could try pumping a bit first and then trying to get her to latch on after you’ve had a let down so the milk isn’t so forceful.
    At the end of the day, a happy well fed baby with a happy mumma is best. seems as though I have 2 babies, one formula and one breastfed honestly, in the long run they’re both as healthy as each other.

    I wish you all the best. Be gentle on yourself , you’re doing an amazing job.

    Xx

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  29. Marnie says:

    Congratulations! Breastfeeding is just going to be tought for the first 6 weeks – you just have to stick it out and the baby will be bigger and stronger and you’ll learn to work together.

    Go see lactation consultants until you find one that ‘gets you’. My son had an awkward latch, a high palate, and I wasn’t producing enough milk for him to gain weight. The lactation consultant i saw on day nine really helped improve the situation and by 6 weeks i understood the phrase ‘established breastfeeding’ and he would latch without effort and feed while i read a book and the nursing sessions were shorter and everything felt like it aas coming up roses compared to the begging.

    So keep on putting that baby to the breast, get advice from qualified LCs who can meet you in person and ignore all the ‘rules’ until you find what works for you.

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  30. Jessica says:

    Definitely see a lactation consultant – my daughter had a lip and tongue tie. Once we got those taken care of (at a pediatric dentist), she was able to latch! good luck! The first six weeks are hard – but I promise it gets easier!!

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  31. Kate says:

    Congrats on your new arrival! It’s such an exhausting and thrilling time with ALL THE EMOTIONS! I can totally relate to what you are writing about re: breastfeeding. I have a 10 month old baby girl and breastfeeding was such a struggle in the beginning – she was a big baby and was not patient enough at the breast. We tried and it became such a battle I wanted to give up around the 6 week mark (especially with all the pumping and nipple shields, pumping is the worst and so exhausting o keep on top of) but my husband and I had a lactation consultant come to the house and it was the best decision we made. Within a few days we were breastfeeding like old pros and are still going strong today! At 6 weeks when it wasn’t working for us, I seriously did not believe it ever would but it can if it’s something you want to do! It can be really confusing with all the info out there and the lactation consultant really helped explain everything. It turned a stressful experience into an easy experience. And like you said it’s really not an uncommon problem to have I think most of us mama’s struggle with it in some form or another! Good luck, enjoy these newborn days they really do pass by so fast!

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  32. Kristen says:

    Do what you have to do! And whatever choice you make will be the right one for you and your baby. I am sure you feel overwhelmed with your
    Pumped milk. I breastfed my baby girl and pumped too and after a few weeks, I still had a huge stash. In about two months your supply will kind of balance out and you won’t be making as much extra. You will
    Blow through stash before you know it…going out, outings, if you’re sick, etc. My biggest regret- invest in a small freezer and keep the milk seperate from your other food. It lasts longer that way! Again, do whatever makes your life easier and congrats!!

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  33. Rosa says:

    I went through this with both my babies….they just would not latch. It was an emotional and guilt ridden time for me as I tried so hard to make it work! Long story short…we bottle fed after all and it all worked out ok. I swore if I ever had a 3rd (we didn’t) I would NOT pump or breast feed 😋.
    Best wishes and congrats!!

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  34. Lisa Lewis says:

    My cousin had a similar thing when we had our babies together. She spent $1000’s on lactation consultants and even saw Dr. Jack Newman to help her. She ended up pumping and bottle feeding for months, which was stressful but she was determined to nurse her own child. Eventually by I think 3-4 months , she was able to breastfeed exclusively. It was almost like her daughter’s mouth had to grow a bit to fit her nipple and handle all the crazy milk she was producing.

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  35. Brittan says:

    I remember that first week, tears of pain while she nursed and so much pressure on myself. Do what works for you! A good friend has this issue and a nurse noticed baby was tongue tied. After it was fixed baby latched perfectly. Praying you and baby find your rhythm.

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  36. Aimee says:

    1) congratulations!!
    2) I haven’t read any other comments so I’m sure this will be repetitive for you so I apologize for that.
    3) I pumped for all 3 as none of my kiddos would latch. Of course the “guilt” is there because of how society is these days with breast feeding but honestly, f it, like you say, do what’s best for you and baby. I do think pumping more often will produce more for you, but one great option is donating milk to the milk bank. My second one, “the troublemaker” was premature and I pumped for a year hoping she could take it but with struggles with feeding due to her heart and then post heart surgery complications she took very little to none of it. I honestly bought a deep freeze and filled it to the max and ended up donating it all. Those preemies need it.
    Good luck to you. I just love Jillian Harris which led me to your blog (which is fantastic by the way). Congrats again she is beautiful as are you!

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  37. Krista H says:

    Hi Sam 🙂
    Our first born came 2 weeks early and our struggles were pretty similar to what you are going through! He wouldn’t latch and it made me so anxious. After seeing several lactation consultants, flying my mom home from her summer vacation (who worked as a post partum nurse for 30 years!) and then trying to exclusively pump for 3 days – (which didn’t last… he was such a fussy baby and it became too much to balance once daddy went back to work) … something in me snapped. I realized it was just him and I on this journey and we had to figure something out. The doctors appointments were over, my mom flew back to her vacation & my husband was back at work. I dreaded each feed with tears.
    I called my mom’s nurse friend who was also an LC and her and I spent a couple of hours together in our home during a quiet afternoon. She was calm, encouraging and supportive and we got him to latch so quickly, I couldn’t believe it. It was still a learning curve and we relied on a nipple shield for the first couple of months, but he was nursing without a fight and I couldn’t be happier. It also made me realize what we needed was calm, supportive help in a quiet and familiar environment.
    I was naieve to the struggle that faced us, and totally shocked that it was so hard. Our story made me realize every momma and baby is different ~ and although the dance may take awhile, you will find your groove doing what works best for you and your baby!
    My cousin exclusively pumped for 6 weeks and decided to try nursing again… her baby took on the first try and they never looked back.
    There is at least one constant with babies and that is that there will always be change. You’re doing what works for you and Hayden and you should be so proud of that!
    Wishing you all the best on your newest and greatest journey as a new mommy. xoxo

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  38. Kelsey says:

    Congratulations on your sweet babe! My Daisy came 3 weeks early, and we had a hell of a time catching our groove with breastfeeding. I was on the verge of changing course MANY times, but I’m glad we stuck with it. I am a firm believer that only you and your partner know what’s best for your baby. Outside opinions are valuable, but in the end, you are her mama, and nobody (even doctors!) knows her like you do. I’m 10 months in, and I’m still working on my confidence as a mama…I tend to be pretty anxious and I get so worried that I won’t make the right decisions. I’m learning to trust my instincts, but it’s an ongoing process!

    Daisy wouldn’t latch at all for 3 weeks (some sources say early babies start to catch on around their due date, that was true for us)–and it was another maybe 6 before we started really getting the hang of it together. I was very hesitant to see a lactation consultant, as I figured surely she couldn’t offer me any information I hadn’t already heard from hospital nurses, other moms, the internet, etc. I SO wish I had gone to see her sooner!! I highly recommend finding one (my o.b. office has one on staff)…she was incredibly helpful in our journey. Daisy and I visited her 3 or 4 times, and I called when I had questions. Every baby is different, and he/she will be able to tailor a plan specifically for you and Hayden.

    If you had told me it would take 9+ weeks of total frustration to get the hang of breastfeeding, I’m not sure I would’ve tried at all. But in the long run, I’m so glad I did! Many parenting challenges since then have felt more manageable since we tackled such a tough one right off the bat. With a supportive partner, you and your new family can conquer anything!!

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  39. Jillian says:

    Congrats!!! I suffered from SEVERELY cracked nipples at the start and thrush. I would just sob every time I fed and needless to say I had craters on my nipples, that’s right, it’s like she bit a chunk off my nipples. Anywho i saw countless lactation consultants who helped improve the latch and by 10 weeks I could honestly say there was zero pain. It WILL get better. Keep trying to get her to latch even if just once a day! I also had the issue of oversupply and she choked on my let down for a solid 4 months. They say you can just place a towel over your breast during letdown (as this is just watery thirst-quenching foremilk) and then relatch when the fire hydrant slows down ha ha. Also it really helped to get her to latch with dry, softer breasts so letting that first letdown go was a lifesaver, then I’d just make sure to wipe off my breast so it was as dry as possible. You got this momma. You can do this!!

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