She’s here!

Hey everyone! It has been a while since my last post, but… life has been busy! Dustin and I welcomed our daughter Hayden Louise into the world on June 7th, 2 weeks early!! I’m sure every mom can agree with me that it is the most AMAZING experience, painful, and the hardest thing I have ever done… but at the end of it all, all you can focus on is the little human on your chest! You forget about everything you just went through.

We have obviously been tired, but it’s all a learning experience for us, and for her. One of the challenges I’m facing, which I don’t think is very uncommon… breast feeding. Which is SUCH a hot topic, and I’m sure there’s lots of mom’s who have or are going through the same thing as me, and can maybe offer some support or advice!

I don’t think my nipples were meant for breastfeeding! She latches, but won’t stay on… so in the hospital I was offered a pump to “top her up”. The last week I have tried to get her on and it’s just not happening! So I have continued to pump, and give her breast milk via the bottle. I tried a nipple shield as well, and with the amount of milk I have, she would just cough it up and choke. There is SO much stress that comes with breast feeding, and so many different opinions out there. I told myself before she was born I was going to go with the flow, whatever works for the both of us, and to NOT stress. For me, at a time like this (especially being cranky with no sleep lol) it’s the last thing my body needs – happy momma, happy baby!!

Now the other thing is I have an INSANE amount of milk… so we definitely aren’t short of that. Although Hayden obviously can’t keep up with it, so i’m becoming unsure what to do with it all, we have a lot in the fridge and freezer already! I think I was over pumping at first. So now I am doing it whenever she would eat, but there’s still so many questions, and i’ve read so many different things on the internet! “Pump until your breast is dry” or “pump only the amount your baby would eat”. SO MANY THINGS! But like I mentioned already, it’s a learning experience, so hopefully with some more research and advice, we will get it all figured out!

Any momma’s out there go through a similar situation?!

172 thoughts on “She’s here!

  1. Amy says:

    Hire a lactation consultant to come to your house! I struggled for far too long….and then a friend put me in touch with an amazing lactation clinic. I was able to have someone come to my house – one hour of help, amazing advice, learning new techniques (learn to nurse laying down – it’s a Godsend in the middle of the night plus it gets you off your sore post-birth bottom) and encouragement. That got me going, and confident. I did 5 more sessions at the clinic as it gave me an outing once I was up to it. So many women struggle with nursing and feel ashamed, guilty and unfit. How the heck are you supposed to nurse when you’ve never done it before?

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    • Lindsey says:

      I had the same issues. Express some milk before trying the nippel shield. Also cabbage leaves helps with engorgement just do it once or twice a day as it decreases milk supply. Do not keep pumping till try it is supply and demand so if you keep pumping your body thinks your constantly feeding your baby so be careful. Hang in there it is stressful. Also maybe have someone check to make sure your baby isn’t tongue or lip tied either. If not working go see a lactations but do what is comfortable as each lactations have their own way of doing it etc and you have to do what is comfortable

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    • Stephanie Lima says:

      I went through the same struggle. My son would not latch on consistent enough. I went through lactation consultants, videos, classes and it just wasn’t working. So I began to pump.

      I pumped for 12 months. It’s not easy, in fact I think it’s harder than breast feeding. I would set my alarm and pump in the middle of the night every 2-3 hours. The recommended pumping time is 20 mins per breast. Over pumping will cause sore nipples and other unnecessary injuries.

      With all my extra milk I became freezing it. I bought these trays called milkies milk try. They are 1oz trays and it was a life savour. Less expensive than those milk bags and the portions were exactly what I needed. You can read a lot on “exclusive pumping” as there are a lot of mothers out there that have done the same thing.

      Although this wasn’t what I had planned on happening, as I was very determined and heart broken when breast feeding was successful. All that matters is that she is getting your milk one way or another. You are doing the best thing for your daughter. Enjoy these moments as a new mom.

      Wishing you all the best 🙂
      Stephanie Lima

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    • Jess says:

      Lactation consultant is key! I had way too much milk as well, even if I didn’t pump. My son had a heck of a time trying to keep up, spit up and chocking were common in the first weeks but he eventually got the hang of it, yours will too. Also, the lactaction specialist can check for a tongue tie- which could cause latch issues. Hold in there new mama, it’s a hell of a ride, daily changes of accomplishments and what may feel like set backs. Your both new to each other, be gentle on yourself! And coconut oil is miraculous for nipple cracking- also beneficial for baby as highly antibacterial and good fat. All the best. Your already doing an amazing job❤️

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    • Heidi says:

      My son was born May 7th and I mostly pump as well. Check out the Kiinde Twist system. It’s been such a time saver not having to wash bottles! Also, I keep my pump parts in the fridge in between sessions so I only have to wash and boil them every 24 hours. Wishing you well and congrats!

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    • Melissa D says:

      Aww so hard getting used to breastfeeding! I had very similar issue! That’s great they introduced a pump for you! (Happy baby=happy mama) I was sent home with a baby not latching, once I was home was introduced to a nipple shield which worked wonders for me but I also had that huge amount of breast milk resulting in baby choking… so it was kind of a mess. I used lots of Oval. And she eventually grew into my nipple like 2 months later haha. But it was hard in the beginning. Also! You may have already tried this but thaw some frozen milk and make sure yours is good after thawed! I froze tones and then found out mine went all sour… some women’s does this.. something with enzymes or whatever! Anywyas I was not happy about it..but such is life! Hope you find some encouragement and advice! Everything gets easier! And the second babe for me latched right away… so you just never know!! All the best!!

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    • Sara says:

      Definitely had the issue of a fast letdown which caused a lot of milk to come out and my son would choke. I would lean back when nursing and that helped so much!

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  2. LaceyVP says:

    Lactation consultant. It can be a little overwhelming and a fresh non emotional perspective is very helpful. Don’t feel defeated, don’t give up. You’ve got this!! ☺️

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  3. Sarah says:

    Lactation consultant for sure! They had such good suggestions for me and they will have you nurse in front of them so they can see exactly what’s going on. And stick with it, keep trying b/c anything can change in a days time! But at the same time, assoon as the stress is too overwhelming don’t feel pressured to keep going, just do what’s right for you and baby 🙂

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  4. mamaSaid says:

    Seek out an international board certified lactation consultant (IBCLC) – they will change your life and give you all the tips you need. I have breastfed three kids and had major problems with the first two and only small issues with the third. The IBCLC’s I saw were key in getting me on the right track. My biggest piece of advice to any new mama is DO NOT DELAY in finding one, not another second. Good luck!!!!!

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  5. Susanne Filipcic says:

    I hear ya! I had twin boys last August and had a very difficult time getting them to latch. I did have a lactation consultant come to my house and I went there a couple times which helped a lot. I don’t think I would have kept nursing if I didn’t have their help. Some nights I’d be crying trying to get my little ones to latch but eventually they caught on…it just took longer than I thought it would and it was a lot of effort. You’ve got this! You’ll find what works for you. Congrats on your new little girl!

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  6. Sandy says:

    It’s been 19 years for me but I remember this struggle so very clearly. Did they check your daughters tongue? My baby was “tongue tied”. The membrane under the Tounge that attaches it to the bottom of the mouth was too far down to the tip of Tongue. They do check this at birth but but they missed it on my baby. It means the tongue cannot move freely or stick out below the lower lip and they cannot latch on. Simple visit to an ear nose and throat specialist and in office he snips the membrane.

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  7. Natalie says:

    Hi there – I am over here from Jillians Facebook stream.

    I had the same issue re lots of milk and my 2nd wasn’t a great latcher either. It took about 6weeks for no 2 to really settle in – and milk supply takes this time to really settle as well. Lactation consultant is a good plan BUT if you are looking for something immediate – try pumping a little before hand and maybe bub is coming off frequently because let down is too forceful? I always found the 2nd or 3rd let down in a feed to be a bit more manageable for them when young.

    Also – the extra breast milk may be something a local neonatal unit may be able to use for premis – best bet is to contact your OB office or your local hospitals and see if they take it.

    Breast feeding is hard – even when everything works it hurts for a littleness while and the first 12weeks or so – I always felt like a dairy cow but the ongoing fact that I didn’t have to get up in the middle of the night to heat a bottle made it worthwhile for me. I breast fed my son until 18months and still nursing my daughter in the evenings at 20months (although trying to convince her that she doesn’t need it!).

    Good luck!!

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  8. Nathalie says:

    Does baby have a tongue tie? I know that can prevent successful latching, although hopefully a lactation consultant would pick up on that ! 🙂

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  9. DV says:

    Your baby was a little early right? Sometimes they don’t latch well until they are closer to 40 weeks. Don’t give up! You’re doing an awesome job mama!! Agree with hiring certified LC. Even if she doesn’t latch well put her to the boob for “practice” then top her up with bottle afterwards. Follow weights and number of wet/dirty diapers. Eventually she will get “enough” from you and you may not be able to pump much this isn’t necc because you don’t have enough but more because she will be so good at getting it herself (might be awhile!) you’re doing great! Hang in there.

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  10. Nicolle says:

    I had the same thing happen! Baby would not latch and I felt like my nipples were the problem. One session with a lactation consultants after 8 weeks of pumping non stop changed everything ! The fact you have all that milk is amazing ! Keep pumping to keep your supply, but for sure get a lactation consultant to come to your home and show you the technique.
    It’s amazing how when you think about brining a baby into this world, the last thing you worry about is breastfeeding… but for some this is sometimes the toughest part!
    Hang in there mama! And good luck to you both! Don’t give up, she will be a perfect latching baby in no time and you two will be pros!

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  11. Bri says:

    Congratulations!! I’ve been following along closely because our due dates were 2 days apart. I also had our first baby…a girl 2 weeks early -June 5th, it was a hectic labor and a bit of a stressful first 5 days in the NICU. In the end I was thankful to stay in the hospital for all the extra support during the dreaded engorgement! I am a family doctor and thought my education would help with all these new mama topics- but nope it really doesn’t. Anyways I had the same problem, good milk supply and crappy latch. What worked best for me was the nipple shield …yes it slides off and gets full of milk, but it was the best thing to help get through those days of engorgement. I avoided pumping to try and let my body regulate the milk on its own. Now two days later boobs are soft, and the last two feeds I didn’t use the nipple shield 🙆🍼🌸. Hope you find something that works, but overall she is fed and healthy ! All the best and keep us updated!!

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  12. Kristi says:

    It took me and my baby a good 6-8 weeks to really get into our breastfeeding flow. A lactation consultant was really helpful for latch and quite frankly, I think things got a bit better once my baby grew a bit and we fixed the tongue tie.

    I stuck with bottle feeding while we were still learning, but still practiced latching each time as well.

    To tell you the truth, I really hated breastfeeding at first. Now we’re five months in and I can’t imagine giving it up!

    Good luck with whatever path you take. Don’t feel guilty about any path you take so long as your little one gets fed.

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  13. Stephanie says:

    It took my now three month old about 6 weeks to breastfeed properly. I was so ingorged and she couldn’t latch properly because of the ingorgement. It was painful! But I knew the “light at the end of the tunnel” was coming as this is my second child. I hung in there and shed a tear each time she breastfed but then it happened, no more pain! Please know that you are doing an amazing job and see a lactation consultant to aid you in this stressful and exhausting time.

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  14. Sarah Mara says:

    In regards to the extra breast milk, see if there’s a milk bank available! There is the BC Provincial Milk Bank but very oddly they don’t have a location in Kelowna. 😦 Maybe contact KGH mat ward or your doctor and they may have some connection. They use it for premies and little ones that are high risk for infection. You’re very fortunate! I would have loved to donate but unfortunately just didnt have the supply. And congratulations!

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  15. Niki says:

    Lactation consultant for sure!! They are the best and help you so much, I’m 11 months exclusively breast feeding my twins and I wouldn’t have it any other way. Easiest thing for me to have milk on the go always. Lots of attachment to me and no breaks but I’m okay with it. Doesn’t mean you can’t bottle top of course!

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  16. Katelyn M says:

    I just experienced the exact same thing a few months ago wih my second baby. I was shocked because I had the opposite supply with my first baby always trying to make more but this time around I made too much. It sounds like you have just what I did which was an over supply and a forceful let down. In the first few months, my son had a hard time latching and staying on but it was because I was too full and it was hard for him to stay on. What helped the most was pumping alittle before feeding him (like 2-3 mins max) just to take some of the pressure off. I was also advised to do a few feedings on the same breast before switching to the next which would help to fully empty each breast and basically tell my body to stop making so much milk. As she starts to get a hang of swallowing youll notice her latching easier then you can go back to normal. These 2 things really made a huge difference. The little milk I pumped I would just freeze. You don’t want to pump too often if you make alot of milk because you’re just signaling your body to make more. Also, if your baby is only taking alittle from each breast then pulling off their not getting to the good fatty milk and just the “sugar” milk which is in the beginning of a feeding which can cause rapid weight gain and bright green stool which is what I noticed in my son. Doing what I mentioned above honestly helped so much. Now he’s a chubby happy 5 month old who eats like a champ! Don’t give up-you got this! Good luck and congratulations!

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  17. Carole says:

    I’m reading your blog and I feel like it’s me that wrote that. I had the exact same struggle. I went through a lactation consultant. Had about 10 visits with them and worked with 4 of them. I’ve had an over supply of milk as well and was pumping a lot in the beginning. I had 30 bags of 5 oz in my freezer by the time she was 4 weeks old. They got me to slowly slow down the pumping cause you will keep producing a lot of milk. I started with only pumping morning and night and then only morning and then eventually was able to stop. For the latching part, my baby would only latch with a shield. And I had a strong let down as well so she would choke when she would latch and couldn’t keep up with the milk flow. Try to get up before a feed and manually express milk (do not pump). Once your let down has passed then latch her on. But a shield was magic for me. And I still use it and my baby is 3 months. Eventually your milk will settle and adjust to what she needs. It took 2 months for me. And the nipple part, my nipple are still not happy and she’s 3 months. I’ve had infections and 2 mastitis. It’s horrible. I feel like they are “kinda” just getting used to breastfeeding now. Lots of cream on them and I’ve had to use the Dr. Newman’ all purpose nipple cream twice. They still get sore once in awhile. You should consider seeing a lactation consultant. They were my saviour. And nobody had ever told me how hard breastfeeding could be. Keep up the great work and you’ll get there. And I donated all my milk! 🙂

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  18. laurendellis says:

    Congratulations on the arrival of your baby girl!! I had my first baby in March (a girl also!) and there are definitely a lot of big changes!! Lucky my daughter was a pro at breastfeeding right from day one but she was also a week late. I have heard that babies born early sometimes have a harder time latching at first so I would recommend to keep trying!! Regardless, you are doing an awesome job!! I’m looking forward to following in your adventures!

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  19. Megan says:

    Try pumping a little before you feed her! My baby was 5.5 weeks early and had a 2 week stay in the nicu so I was pumping and feeding with a nipple shield. I also had some over supply issues so make sure you don’t pump longer than 30 minutes. I stuck to it and she’s 4 months and going strong without the nipple shield good luck!

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  20. Kate says:

    Congratulations Sam! She’s adorable! My first came 8 weeks early so right away I pumped and he drank from a bottle before breast. We always offered breast first and even if just to nuzzle and then top up with a bottle of breast milk. We focused on the pros – dad could help with late night feeds, Momma could pump and go back to bed. We did use a nipple shield for about 4 months, I tried different sizes, also I’d hand express a little milk in to the tip of the shield (and used saliva to make the shield stick to my breast) and that would help the latch. I had a lactation consultant come to my house too which was great. Pumping did irritate my nipples (I had the setting too high) and I got blisters then mastitis so use lanolin cream or something similar (unfortunately it stained a few tank tops). I froze my milk and added it to baby food later but also was able to donate some to BC Women’s hospital. Just know that you’re doing great and have an awesome attitude, happy Momma happy baby is KEY! With my number 2 she wouldn’t take a bottle until she was 13 months so focus on what IS working for you and hopefully you, Hayden and Dustin get in to a good routine soon! All the best xo

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  21. Tessa says:

    I had the same problem and struggled for 3 weeks until I realized I was feeding my son every 45 minutes as he choked and inhaled only air. I have been pumping and feeding from a bottle for the past 4 months and it is great. My son is growing like a weed and it’s nice to have my husband’s help to feed. Whatever works for your baby is your best bet. It’s still breast milk however your little one gets it!

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  22. Lisa Peters says:

    Oh man! I feel like coming on over… it is a
    New skill for both you amd your baby girl. It take time. But having help is kinda key… lots of mis information out there too… but I know if you do what you feel best amd what together you wanted to do pre hormonal. You will feel well in the end. You do not have to choose one or the other… amd in the begining your body does not know how mich to produce… so the baby( or you pumping) tells your body, but for real it takes a few months before you get good, also baby gpes thrpugh growth spruts amd your body will start making more millk, supply amd demand! Be gentle on yourself, ask for help when needed and give her all the love, cuddle, milk however she can! You got this!

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  23. Amanda says:

    First I would like to say congratulation. I went to the exact same issue with my little one. I am an over producer. At one point I pumped 100oz a day. Which enough for triplets. I was pumping 7 times a day for 20 mins. Then when she slept through the night I went down to 6 and then in us we have to go back to work at 12 weeks after birth so I reduced to 5 pumps a day. When I reduced pumping session I had to go up in time and then work it back down. When the dr said to reduce her milk intake at 6 months I reduced to 4 pumping session. So I had 1000 bags of 6 oz . So I stopped at 7 months. I started wearing a sports bra and my milk slow and then eventually stopped. I had the opposite gilt that some mothers have, too much milk and not know what to do with it cause I didn’t have space. But some hospitals take breatmilk for premies. So u can usually donate to hospitals.

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  24. Jasmine says:

    I just had my second baby 5 months ago. This go around, I also experienced some breastfeeding woes. I ended up hiring a lactation consultant. (An IBCLC) best money I’ve ever spent. Thankfully she helped me get my daughter to latch and saved my cracked nipples and we are still happily exclusively breastfeeding at five months. Hang tough mama, solidarity. ❤️

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  25. Larissa says:

    Is she tongue tied? This is an issue often overlooked by doctors. A lactation consultant or a dentist will be able to identify it easier. I work at a dental office and we do frenectomies on babies often and 9/10 there is a huge change for the better in a babies latch, therefore much better success in breastfeeding.

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  26. Vanessa says:

    Congratulations! As an NICU nurse I help mommas struggling with breastfeeding often! Keep it up! Always offer breast and then bottle. Pump a few minutes prior to a feed to get past the first let down and then latch babe! This will help draw your nipple out too and might help to latch her without the shield! You only need to pump 10-15 min per side and only every 3 hours ! Or as you said, when she feeds!

    If you have a surplus of milk you can obviously store it, but if you intend to continue to pump/breastfeed you’ll likely never use it all as you’ll eventually, hopefully be breastfeeding and can pump one a day if you want to give a bottle now and then. With that being said I wanted to suggest that if you have a lot of extra milk in the freezer, it would would be great if you would consider donating it! Preemie babies really rely on donated breast milk in those critical weeks when they arrive too early into this world. You can google more information specific to wherever you are located. All that Is required is a simple blood test prior to donating and if all is a go you can even donate milk that was pumped prior to the blood test! It is worth considering and so so so important 🙂

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  27. Rebekah says:

    I can see you’ve gotten lots of help already. Personally, I would recommend talking to the Breastfeeding clinic in the Rutland health center. They will be able to help you best. And completely tailor their advice and help to you and baby. Also kellymom.com is a great resource. Keep on not stressing. You guys will get into a rhythm soon enough.

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  28. Christie says:

    O.K. here’s my 2 cents. First off, you might try scrubbing your nipples with a loofah to toughen them up. My cousin told me to do this and it was a HUGE help. Second, it’s easier for infants to drink out of a bottle vs breastfeeding so the more you feed her out of a bottle, the less she will be inclined to try breastfeeding. If she’s choking on your milk it could just be due to the fact that like you said, you have a lot of milk. My second daughter would latch on like a suction cup and nurse 10 minutes each side, choking and spitting out milk along the way. Was SO funny to see but that’s just how she ate. After 10 minutes she was DONE. My first one was the baby from hell. She had the HARDEST time nursing and would NOT take a bottle but I was also so stressed about trying to get her to nurse. What worked the best for me was sitting in a warm tub. I would get into the bath, it would relax me, my milk would let down and my little one LOVED the warm water lapping up by her. Then I would nurse inside the bath tub. Helped me a lot. Might give it a try. FYI your milk will regulate so if you’re concerned about the amount of milk you are producing, I wouldn’t necessarily pump a bunch as the more you pump the more milk you will produce. Infants are very intuitive and I’m sure she feels your nervousness, I know my girl did so don’t stress yourself out too much.

    I’m sure in a couple of days you’ll get the hang of it. My “little ones” are now 25 and 27 so the good news is they didn’t starve. Haha

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  29. Jen says:

    I was determined to breastfeed but my little guy wouldn’t latch either. I pumped exclusively for 8 weeks, trying the breast here and there, but trying not to stress about it. Finally at 8 weeks he figured it out and we breastfed for the next year. Lots of work to pump so much, but oh so worth the wait

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  30. Ashley says:

    I went through the exact same thing my babe is 9 weeks old. Baby would latch but wouldn’t stay on or she would nurse for literally 3 hours and I was so stressed and crying all the time. We opted to pump as much as I can and supplement/mix with formula and our lives have been amazing! My husband and I are able to both enjoy her and life with her 🙂 keep it up whatever you decide to do you’re doing great!

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  31. Joey says:

    I don’t really have the same issue as you do. I actually worry eveeey now and then whether I’m producing enough milk for my LO.

    BF is very hard! I exclusively pumped for my older one and I thought it was very time consuming, so I was determined to exclusively BF when my second one arrived. I’m not gonna lie but I somewhat regret it now. BF sure is convenient but it’s very exhausting and make me feel helpless. I didn’t bother training him to use the bottle, and he loves nursing for comfort. I can’t even go anywhere without him without worrying for more than 2 hours.

    You might have been “forced” into the pumping situation, but I think it is the best of both worlds. It gives your baby the best food and it gives you the flexibility of taking a break when you need it. And trust me, you will need them every now and then. On top of that, your partner will thank you. I can tell my husband misses feeding our baby, but he doesn’t have an option to take part…

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  32. Lynn says:

    Every baby is different. My son wouldn’t latch on properly and I had cracked bleeding nipples then he got thrush in his mouth and I got a staff infection from that and had to go on antibiotics. Nobody ever told me it was so hard. I thought it was an easy natural thing. My doctor said not to worry if my nipples bled a bit, the blood wouldn’t hurt him, but it hurt me! I was trying so hard cause I thought it was the best thing but finally gave up at 2 months when I was feeding him and realized my tears were falling onto his little face, that this was not a good “bonding”experience.
    My daughter on the other hand nursed till 15 months and I had no problems with her. I thought the problem was me when I had my son but my son had been given a bottle and a pacifier in the hospital and was too “lazy” to breastfeed cause it’s more work for them to get the milk out than bottle feeding-it’s a different suction action. Where as my daughter went to my breast immediately after birth and that’s all she wanted. Wouldn’t take any artificial nipples at all. No pacifiers, nothing, just Mom.
    Neither is wrong, it’s just what works for the both of you. Stressing about it does neither of you any good. Good luck with whatever you decide to do. She’s gorgeous!! Isn’t it funny how she was measuring a week or 2 behind and then she came 2 weeks early? She has her own way of doing things….,

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  33. Charlene says:

    My advice to any new Momma…take people’s advice then do whatever works for you and your family the best. Don’t let anyone make you feel guilty because lord knows they will try. In the end your beautiful baby will be just fine if you raise her with love. That is the most important of all. Good luck and take time to enjoy the experience and bond with her. It goes by fast. 👪💕

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  34. NICU nurse Sam says:

    Sounds like you’re doing a great job mumma!
    Try layed back breastfeeding, it can help babies manage a fast flow! But at the end of the day, you are right do what’s best for the two of you. It is already such an amazing thing to give your baby your breastmilk!
    As far as your supply, donate it! I am a NICU nurse at bc Children’s in vancouver, and our little miracle babies live off the donated breast milk that mumma’s like you can donate! Look into it 🙂
    A lactation consultant is an excallent resource as well. There ate techniques to slowing down your supply, so that you don’t get too engorged or develope mastitis in the process! I know i can all seem overwhelming but you are doing a great job. Keep it up!

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  35. Janet says:

    Congratulations!
    I don’t know where you live but BC Children’s hospital has a breast milk bank.
    They would love to have any extra milk that any Mum wants to donate.
    It is used for premmies and also for babies who cannot tolerate formula.
    Also agree with the comments about a lactation consultant.

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  36. J. Flett says:

    It took at least 2 months for me to comfortably breastfeed. Don’t give up! It’s the most rewarding thing ever. Plus, no bottle sterilization and extra packing for outings!
    My daughter has a tongue tie (from me). We chose not to clip hers (mine isn’t either) and had help from a lactation consultant. I’m so glad we didn’t have her clipped, even though they were trying to convince me as I was waking up from surgery, as well as the next in-hospital visit.
    I tried to pump at least once a day, and froze the milk. My daughter is 2 weeks away from turning a year old, has been bottle weaned for a week AND it’s with breastmilk. Plus, all her cereals have to be mixed with milk due to a dairy allergy, and that can be done with the BM instead of formula. Pumping was difficult and frustrating at times, but I’m getting my reward months later!!
    All that being said, if it’s not working for you and you feel you’ve truly given it your best shot, don’t keep going. It’s only best for everyone when it’s working. And if it’s not working, don’t drive yourself crazy.
    Good luck and congratulations!

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  37. prosreallife says:

    Congratulations you are doing amazing Momma! BF is hard for sure but I found it got much easier with time. I would say keep it up if you can, but at the end of the day do what’s best for you and your baby and try not to stress about it. And trust your own intuition…listen to it. It won’t lead you astray. You know your baby best. Congratulations again…you are doing great.

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  38. Angèle says:

    The two things that helped me with my oversupply the most were pumping just enough to get the key down (as others suggested), but also to nurse in different positions. At night especially, I lean totally back and let gravity help. You can even nurse totally laying down, and on your side. Again, gravity will help.

    As far as the latch goes – It’s hard to explain but you kind of have to man handle baby a little. Have baby near your boob and then when she opens wide like she’s yawning then push her into your boob. Like have her neck cradled in one hand and wait for her to open wide and with the other hand squish your aerola and nipple into a sand which and put it all in her mouth. For the first few times, my husband would handle the baby, I handle the boob. Worked for us! Now she’s a champ.

    My babe is 3 months old and I still have an oversupply and foreful letdown, but she has learnt to adjust. If it’s too much, she pulls away and waits a second before going back on (I’ve learnt to tuck a blanket in my bra to catch any excess).

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  39. Jamie says:

    Hi and congratulations! Two quick things, although you may have heard both: 1, express milk before nursing if you decide to try again. I was choking my
    daughter from too much force! 2. The best, creamiest and most nutritional part of your milk is at the end, so pump til dry. Once you are pumping when she eats and only when she eats, you’ll taper off. Too much is ALWAYS better than too little! Good luck with it all-you do you, Mama! Hayden is lucky to have you.

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  40. Kylla says:

    You sound like you are doing an amazing job and are trying SO hard to do what’s best for you & your baby (not just with breastfeeding!). I STRONGLY suggest hiring a private IBCLC (internationally board certified lactation consultant) to come and assess you both, provide you with tips and tricks and most importantly support! Breastfeeding is so easy and convenient once everything is going well and so beneficial to both of you in so many ways; but it’s the complete opposite when it’s not working. I had difficulty nursing my daughter and would have been close to giving up had I not found amazing support in the Le Leche League and a lactation consultant. Lactation consultants are just like any profession and you may need to meet with more than one to find the right “fit”. Good luck and I really hope that you find success, there’s nothing on earth like nursing your baby, gotta love that oxytocin!!

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  41. Lisa says:

    I went through a lot of struggles too in the beginning, my son was tongue tied so his latch was terrible. We had that corrected by a specialist. I mostly pumped and fed him bottles the first 2 months but I would try to breastfeed at least once a day, many times would get frustrated and just give him a bottle. A few weeks after the tongue tie was corrected I started breastfeeding him more and eventually exclusively breast fed him when I was with him and pumped while away from him. He is now 9 months old and I am still breastfeeding. It is so much more joyful now for both of us. I’m really glad I stuck it out through the frustration, and it frustrated me to tears sometimes! I will say that as they get older they get much better at latching, your body will adjust too and the letdown won’t be so forceful that baby can’t handle it (I had that problem in the beginning too), and the whole thing just gets so much easier. When his tongue tie was corrected we did get some help from a lactation consultant and from a chiropractor to help him open wider. But the main thing was just time and practice, for both of us. Ultimately I think the best thing for any baby is a happy momma, breastfeeding can be so stressful so if it gets to the point where it is interfering with your ability to feed her without so much frustration there is no shame in my opinion to consider other options than exclusive breastfeeding. Congratulations to you!

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  42. Chantelle says:

    You should check out Nicki Albreicht at Westside Maternity Care. She is a fantastic lactation consultant! Also, has Hayden been checked for a tongue or lip tie? My Little Dude has a lip tie and sometimes it can affect his latch.

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  43. Ashley says:

    I nursed just fine with my first baby so I had this idea it would be the same with my second. Second came along and nursing was slow going, he wasn’t gaining weight, I was frustrated and I also had a toddler So I gave it a go for 3 weeks and the I packed it in and moved on to formula. It might have been easier to move on this time cause I had already done this one and my oldest moved to formula exclusively at 5.5 months but I knew I had no time to stress and no time to pump and pumping sucked second time around also. It’s important to not stress, to get some sleep, and to feed your baby somehow. You’ll get there. Hopefully there isn’t too much stress along the way!!

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  44. Carrie says:

    For sure hire a lactation consultant to come to your house!! They work absolute wonders and your struggles are exactly what they are there to do.
    Try not to get discouraged- sometimes it comes down to something you wouldn’t be able to see yourself like A lip tie.

    It’s a very overwhelming (in a positive and challenging) time so be kind to yourself.

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  45. Brynn says:

    My son couldn’t latch on well as I was told I had flat nipples, but every nurse had a different opinion on that. I used a nipple shield and pumped but would only get an ounce each time. The first two weeks of breastfeeding, I would spend an hour or more feeding him between the breast, pumping and supplementing with formula. I almost went insane. After 2 months of trying, taking supplements, etc., my doctor told me some women just don’t produce enough milk for their babies and she let me know it was ok to just go to formula. You are so lucky to have so much milk!!! I had hardly any and I felt like such a failure.. I miss the closeness of breastfeeding, even though he hardly got anything..

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  46. Amanda says:

    Lactation consultant all the way! Also if you have lots of extra milk…look into donating it! There are tons of mama’s or dad’s out there that need it! ☺

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  47. Alicia says:

    Hey mama! Congrats on your new baby girl! Being a girl mom is just the best!! I’ve got an almost 4 month old ♥️

    We had latch struggles too. It was very painful for the first week. We took her to a nurse practitioner and turned out she was tongue tied and couldn’t latch. One TINY snip under her tongue and instantly better. I mean WAY better.

    I also was blessed with a lot of milk. At first it was realllllly hard to regulate but I promise it gets better. I was very nervous about becoming a slave to my pump. But remember, your supply is based on your demand. If you pump til your dry your body will think you need that much and keep producing. I’d just pump for relief for a while until your body regulates. But definitely do enough to build supply! You’ll be happy you did later.

    There will be days when your supply seems super low. Perhaps you didn’t drink enough water, eating much at all or God forbid you get food poisoning like me. You’ll be stoked you have that freezer supply then 🙂

    Oh and the fact that your baby is bottle fed already is amazing!! That will help a ton when dad can do midnight feedings!! Plus you’ll be able to be away from your baby more than moms who strictly feed from the breast – you’ll want a date night at some point.

    Keep up the great work mama! It gets so much easier I promise!!

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  48. Becky says:

    I was in your same position when my daughter was born six months ago. My biggest advice (which I wish I had listened to myself) is to only pump the amount your baby will eat. Do not pump more milk unless you plan on exclusively pumping for a long time. My baby had the same issues breastfeeding and after two months of trying everything to make it work for her, I switched to exclusively pumping. At the time, I had an oversupply and fast letdown and didn’t know that my daughter had severe acid reflux, which was a terrible combination with the supply and letdown issues. As others have mentioned, exclusively pumping is totally doable; however, it is extremely hard…and a lot more work and stress (at least in my case) than breastfeeding. When my daughter was four months I tried to breastfeed again and she was able to handle the faster flow and larger supply. That said, I created a vicious cycle with the pumping. I breastfeed her during the day and then have to pump at night because I still have way too much milk (I make 12 ounces per pumping session and she eats 5 at a feeding) and she is sleeping for stretched that are longer than I can go without getting engorged. So be really careful with the pumping! In terms of nipple pain, I had this as well. Mine were raw and bloody for the first three or four weeks, but I promise it gets so much better! The pain will go away. In the meantime, see if your doctor can prescribe a steroid cream that you can use for a week. This worked wonders for me. And also use lanolin after each feeding/pumping. Good luck! You’re doing a great job!

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